War footage, 
be warned 

Kinda Gruesome

War can be a brutal event. We tend to sit back in our living rooms, and view
the barrage of information that comes across our television. We easily can
become de-sensitized the real to the true gravity and danger of the battle
front. Lives may be ended or altered forever during the heat of battle.

When I first saw this photo, my heart was instantly brought face to face
with the cold reality of battle. Yet at the same time, made me proud of who
I am. This moment of conflict, on some distant shore, truly captures the
spirit and cause of fighting for what is right. 

But a word of warning: You may not want to look at first due to 
the disturbing content. But the more you look, the more you will likely 
be drawn to and inspired by this moment. It may even cause you to want to join the fight. I hope it does.

Please take a silent moment to view this tragedy. 

Remember that all of us can be proud, and be brave... 

God Bless America.

Makes Sense....

A fire fighter is working on the engine outside the station when he notices a little girl next door in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the side and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle. The girl is wearing a fire fighter's helmet and has the wagon tied to a dog and a cat.

Computer: Male or Female? 

A DDD's Collection

A language instructor was explaining to her class that in French, nouns unlike their English counterparts, are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine.

"House," in French, is feminine-"la maison."
"Pencil," in French, is masculine-"le crayon."

One puzzled student asked, "What gender is computer?"

The teacher did not know, and the word wasn't in her French dictionary. So for fun she split the class into two groups appropriately enough, by gender and asked them to decide whether "computer" should be a masculine or feminine noun.

Both groups were required to give four reasons for their recommendation.

The men's group decided that computers should definitely be of the feminine gender ("la computer"), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for possible later retrieval

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your pay check on accessories for it.

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine ("le computer"), because:

1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on;

2. They have a lot of data but they are still clueless;

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem;

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you'd waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

The Men Won!

DIETARY ADVICE

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. 

The fire fighter walks over to take a closer look. "That sure is a nice fire truck," the fire fighter says with admiration. "Thanks," says the little girl.

As the fire fighter looks a little closer, he notices the girl has tied the wagon to the dog's collar and to the cat's testicles. "Little partner," the fire fighter says, "I don't want to tell you how to run your fire truck, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster."

The little girl says, "You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren."

Mean hear...

Chuckle

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble.

In order to save the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock. Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home."

The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news.

She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home."

The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word." Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word. After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, "I want you to send her the word "comfortable"

The telegraph operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here 
to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, 'comfortable?'"

The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde. She'll read it slow." ("com-for-da-bul").

The Gynecologist

A beautiful woman went to the gynecologist. The doctor took one look at the woman and all his professionalism flew out the window. He immediately told her to get undressed.

After she disrobed the doctor began to stroke her thigh. Doing so he asked her, "Do you know what I am doing?" "Yes," she replied, "You are checking
for abrasions or dermatological abnormalities." "That's right," said the doctor. He then began to fondle her breast. "Do you know what I am doing
now?" he asked. "Yes," she said, "You are checking for lumps or breast cancer." "Correct," replied the shady doctor.

Finally, he mounted his patient and started having sexual intercourse with her. He asked, "Do you know what I am doing now?" "Yes," she said, "You're
getting herpes: which is why I came here in the first place."

2. On the other hand, the French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. 

3. The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. 

4. The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. 

Conclusion: 
Eat and drink what you like. It's speaking English that kills you. 

Subject: The Strategy

Morris had just been hired as the new CEO of a large firm. The previous CEO met with him privately and presented him with three numbered envelopes: #1, #2, and #3. 

"Open these if you run up against a problem you don't think you can solve," the departing CEO said. 

Well, things went along pretty smoothly, but six months ter, sales took a downturn, and Morris was really catching a lot of heat. About at his wit's end, he remembered the envelopes. He went to his drawer and took out the first envelope. The message read, "Blame your predecessor." 

Morris, the new CEO called a press conference and tactfully laid the blame at the feet of the previous CEO. Satisfied with his comments, the press -- and Wall Street - responded positively, sales began to pick up and the problem was soon behind him. 

About a year later, the company was again experiencing a slight dip in sales, combined with serious product problems. Having learned from his previous experience, the CEO quickly opened the second envelope. The message read, "Reorganize." This he did, and the company quickly rebounded. 

After several consecutive profitable quarters, the company once again fell on difficult times. Morris went to his office, closed the door and opened the third envelope. 

The message read: 

"Prepare three envelopes!" 

Why Condoms 
Come in 
Boxes of 3, 6, or 12

A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad?" To which the man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called condoms, son..Men use them to have safe sex." "Oh I see," replied the boys pensively.

"Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school." He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks,"Why are there 3 in this package."

The dad replies, "Those are for high school boys. One for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday."

"Cool!" says the boy. He notices a 6 pack and asks, "Then who are these for?"

"Those are for college men." the dad answers,"TWO for Friday, TWO for
Saturday, and TWO for Sunday." 

"WOW!" exclaimed the boy,"then who uses THESE?" he asks, picking up a 12
pack. With a sigh, the dad replied,"Those are for married men. One for January, one for February, one for March........"

  Thugian 9